Initial thoughts emerging as I embark on Module 2

Whilst working through Part 4 of the Module 2 handbook I have enjoyed considering some of the questions which are raised and I thought I would share some of my thoughts on them here!

Do I work within a disciplinary context in the arts? Or is my situation more transdisciplinary?

Although I am a professional ballet dancer, I am currently freelancing. This means that I am working in a variety of different genres. At the moment I am preparing ballet workshops for children, choreographing dances to perform at a variety of different events. I also create many of my own costumes for the work I perform. I am also setting up a craft business alongside. Therefore I would say that my situation is more transdisciplinary.

What do I know?

• I have knowledge of the technique of ballet.
• I know that when I am sincere as a dancer my dancing is much more powerful   
• I have an awareness of how to work with others
• I am willing to be directed by another/others and seem to feel a bit more at ease when dictated to
• However, I also have a questioning personality and an ability to see when a situation is unjust. 
• I know how to train alone to maintain my technique.

Competences

• Precision in classical technique
• Dancing on stage
• Working with others
• Choreographing in the classical ballet style
• Improvisation
• Adaptation of existing costumes
• Creation of headdresses
• Planning workshops and teaching young children ballet

Capabilities

• Developing the confidence to take more risks and challenge my classical work. 
• Dance in a classical company
• Working with more authority and assurance
• Having more confidence in independent work
• Choreographing with more abandon and creativity in a variety of different style of dance. 
• Teaching older more advanced children and adults
• Promoting my work more.
• Making my own costumes from scratch

Knowledge still required for the future.

• I need to learn how to balance out my energies when working to an intense schedule to avoid burnout.
• I need to learn to accept my short comings but not allow them to affect my confidence. Instead use them as motivation to work harder.
• I need to develop the skills to pick up choreography faster.
• I need to develop a stronger more abandoned and grounded physicality in my more contemporary work.
• I need to learn to be proud of who I am as an individual as this will help me in more competitive situations such as auditions.
• I need to learn to be assertive as this will give me more courage to go out into more situations which may challenge me.
• I have noticed that since being a freelancer, I doubt my capabilities a lot more. Perhaps because I have relied to heavily on the validation of others in the past.  Now I need to find a greater strength to get to the next level as a performer. 

Considering all of these questions is helping me to develop the questions for my inquiry as it is encouraging me to look deeper into myself and discover what I really need to develop as a professional in the field of classical ballet.

I would like to know whether other freelancers out there have also felt a lack of confidence in their independent ability when they are used to being under directorship.